I Came. I Saw. I Medicated.

Today went really well at the doctor’s office.  She and I got along very well and have a lot of the same ideas and ideals.  I’d have preferred she give me more benzos, but it’s her call and I’ll go with it.

She put me on Mirtazapine – Remeron is the name here in the US.  I also got a very slight amount of xanax, but have pretty much been instructed it’s for absolute emergency use only.  I can deal with that.

For the CBT, my homework assignment this week is to spend time out in the yard every day playing with my son.  I am supposed to raise my anxiety to a level I can deal with, but not anything near panic.  There’s no time limit on playing outside, just that I have to do it until I start having fun.  Seems reasonable to me.

I’m a bit drained from the day’s outing and the pill I took recently.  I’m sure I’ll remember more and write about my progress tomorrow, too.  Thanks again for all of your well wishings.  I have the best people in the world reading my blog.  Hands down.

T Minus 5 Hours

The one morning I can’t sleep in later happens to be today.  My anatomy seems to be messed up, as my throat is now where my heart resides.  While I know the appointment itself won’t be bad, or at least I don’t think so anyway.  It’s just that pre-anxiety that’s making me so jumpy.

I have been overcome with the outpouring of support and well-wishing from the readers of this blog.  People I don’t know, who don’t know me, and who are genuinely rooting for me.  I thank you all so very much.  I never expected this blog to get read, let alone the flood of amazing people I have come to cherish and “anxiously” await emails from and comments, too.

What am I going to do for the next 5 hours before I have to leave?  What any self-respecting agoraphobic woman with pre-anxiety would do.  Clean everything in my house.  Twice.

Updates on the appointment coming soon.  Stay tuned.