So Many Phobic Updates, So Little Time

My life has been utterly crazy since my last update.  You’ll be glad to know that the whole hormonal thing is no longer an issue, at least for another few weeks.  The rest of the updates might take more than one post, because so very much has happened.  I’ll try to take it one step at a time though, and see where we end up.

I hadn’t mentioned (I don’t think) a trip I had to take to visit my parents in Tennessee.  I didn’t want to mention it because I was afraid I would back out, or that you the reader would see just what a wreck I really am.  Regardless, though, here I am in Tennessee.  I made it with my son on an airplane and into the safety of my parents’ new home.  It wasn’t easy and it required a lot of preparation and tricks, but I made it.  Am I looking forward to doing it again to get home?  No.

The second night I was here, I had the big talk with them.   I came clean.  I told them everything.  Agoraphobia, panic, the whole deal.  I asked for their help to get me on track.  It went beautifully.  I’ve said before that my parents are such amazing people, and they proved me right once again.  We’re not sure yet what the next step is, but they’re going to help me take it.

The next night I spoke to my fiance and came clean about it all to him.  I even directed him to this blog.  I didn’t expect him to do anything drastic like pack up my stuff and tell me to get lost, though I also didn’t expect him to be SO understanding.  He was/is amazing.  He told me whatever plan I hatch up to get through this, he will support.  Though when asked for his advice, he smartly said that it is a poor idea to take the advice on this from someone I will be spending the rest of my life with.  Fair enough.

Before I left for Tennessee, I had contacted a hypnotherapist.  She seems really great, and I’m looking forward to talking more with her.

Things are looking up for me today.  I feel a lot lighter, because I’m not hiding anything from all the people I love so deeply anymore.  Hiding isn’t quite the right word, but letting them in on my recent realization.

There’s a lot more detail to go into, which I will do while I’m still here in Tennessee for the next week and a half.  But if this isn’t progress, I don’t know what is.